Oh… Hello there.
That's me on the right.
I know what you’re thinking… and the answer is YES… it’s HUGE.
But enough about me.
This story isn't really about me...
This story is about the team of kick-ass individuals who found my half beaten shell-of-an-almost-corpse, and saved my ass.
And it’s almost 87.6% all true, except for the parts that ain’t.
This foursome of Rabbut loving mercenaries pulled me out of the darkest depths of hell my friend.
Let me break it down for you.
Jon, Howard, Kate and Tiffany decided to go camping in the desert one weekend.
Spur of the moment type of shit.
The kinda things four best friends just do without a second thought.
Nothing out of the ordinary… you know… typical best bud type stuff.
Anyway, while Jon and Howard are setting up the camping gear, Tiff (only I’m allowed to call her that) and Kate decide to go collecting firewood.
That’s when they found me…
Beaten, bloodied, spooning a cactus, and patiently waiting for the sweet release of death.
Only six short months ago I had been a cute little bunny in a cage… now I was a half naked, mutated, Man-rabbit left for dead in the desert.
Jon wanted to call the government… the same government that did this too me.
And Howard, that bastard…
I actually watched him, with my own eyes that were half swollen shut from repeated blunt force trauma, walk to the trunk of his car and get a 10kg tire iron.
He wanted to put me out of my misery. He said it was the humane thing to do.
Kate and Tiff, those two hot goddesses, threw themselves on top of me, both screaming at Howard to lower the tire iron.
As I watched these four sexy strangers arguing over what to do with me, a million different thoughts rattled around my furry, foggy, little head.
I wondered how well these people knew each other…
I wondered if the girls were single, and into Rabbits…
But most importantly…
I wondered about the ninjas…
I knew they would be back to finish me off.
So I mustered up every last bit of energy I could and I started to tell them everything.
I told them about how they tortured me for hours and hours with their sick experiments that left me fatally allergic to carrots.
About the conspiracy to put Donald Trump in the White House and collapse western civilization…
I even told them about how GMO crops were secretly changing the DNA of every human being and slowly setting the stage for a zombie apocalypse.
That’s when Jon said, “We need to tell your story to the world.”
“If only there was a way we could collect the email addresses of everyone who wanted to hear this completely factual story!” Kate proclaimed.
“We can build it… and make it super customizable for multiple blogging and social media platforms… so it never looks shitty!” shouted Howie.
“Yes! And make it FREE for everyone to try… so they can collect email addresses too!” exclaimed Tiffany.
Then they all grew quiet. The silence was deafening.
“We need a name to call this awesome thing we are about to create.” Jon said.
A deep sadness washed over everyone.
“We all suck at naming stuff…” Kate muttered.
And as I lay there, half dead, and impressed as shit by these four compadres who all huddled around my broken, nearly lifeless, body. I managed to say in a low hushed tone that crackled when I spoke.
Sure… I was trying to ask for a drink of water… but that's how it came out and somehow it stuck.
If you want a sexy and sleek way to collect email addresses so that you can effortlessly build a tribe of followers who are eager to consume your wickedly awesome content... sign up for Rabbut today.
It's free to get started.
I’ll catch you on the inside.