I have noticed that a lot of women seem to focus a lot on the man when dating. It’s understandable, especially when you are anxious.
Things like what does it mean when he does/says/feels x,y, z? What should I do to get him to do this? If I say this or do this, will that get me this? How can I get out of the friend zone with him? How can I get him to chase me?
I understand that there is a constant struggle of feeling like you’re not getting what you want, but is that really the purpose of even trying to be high value?
I posit that it is not.
Instead, being high value should be an authentic and consistent effort to build your own intrinsic value as a woman. That way, everything you do carries an air of authenticity to it.
If you need to state your boundaries, it is because they are your boundaries.
If you need to be vulnerable, it is because you are a woman, and vulnerability is our strength and most feminine trait.
If you ‘lean back’ it should be because you need the space to focus.
NOT because any of that will manipulate a man into thinking you’re the woman of his dreams, or that it will suddenly turn him to the man of yours. That sort of thinking is inherently low-value, disguised as character building.
I think that the ultimate goal in pursuing our feminine nature is so that we could be the best version of ourselves: radiant, inviting, engaging and free. it is this AUTHENTICITY that will draw the right man in. it is the ENERGY that engages the world around you. It is this INNER confidence that will ultimately drive the decisions.
The questions we should be asking ourselves are aren’t about waiting to text him, wearing the cute dresses. It’s about your intention.
Are your actions a conscious and aware effort to become more connected with your wants and to grow your femininity and build your character from within? Or is it an effort to hoard someone else’s energy in an effort to feel good/justified/validated/seen/heard/etc?
Humans can feel and respond to your energy and your intention. They can tell when you’re being disingenuous.
Becoming high value is about being and presenting the most ‘you’ version of yourself. You do that by simply consciously adding to your value every single day. If you lose sight of that, it doesn’t matter what you do, the results will never change.
So How do you become feminine and high value?
Make a point every day to add to your intrinsic value as a woman. Here are some ideas:
1: Make a vegetable juice instead of watching tv shows.
2: Understand him and his perspective, instead of trying to GET him to do this and that so you can feel better.
3: Find ways to deepen the connection with men. You can use your vulnerability, or you can use playful banter. Regarding banter, here’s an article on how to get good at that.