How To Know If a Guy is Dating Safely During Covid?

How can you suss out if a guy on bumble is being safe and responsible with Covid before meeting him?

It’s a good question. Everyone is different regarding how they feel during the cover 19 pandemic, however you may not want to meet him if he has been in close contact with lots of other people, or worse, doesn’t take the virus seriously.

It’s definitely risky getting to know new men online in this era of cover, as you don’t know their history. You also cannot trust a stranger to tell you the truth about their behaviour. Also, any man you potentially meet may harbour a different idea of what it means to “be careful”. Their idea of being careful could be very different from yours. If you’re going to date, just remember that there will be a risk.

Here’s something to think about. If he’s willing to meet up with you 99% of the time he’s meeting others.

Treat Everyone As If They Have The Virus

So how do you approach dating men? Yo can start by treating everyone as if they have the virus.

Don’t just listen to claims like “I’ve been lockdown and not meeting with anyone” or “I’ve been tested” etc.

If you’re going to meet up with anyone at all during this time, follow social distancing and mask rules as they recommend for people outside your household. Wear your mask and practice physical distancing.

This of course, doesn’t take away from your responsibility to find out as much about the way he’s approaching the virus as possible.

Spend a little time getting to know him and ask what he has been up to. Ask yourself if you are comfortable if he has been out socializing but not kissing people?

Listen to how each man has been spending his time and go from there.

Find Out If He’s Willing to Get Tested

Another important thing to remember is to ask a man if he’s willing to get tested or not. And while waiting for the results, perhaps you can do a video chat. Lots of women have been getting lots of video dates using the concept of high value banter during the time of coven. You can try it to.

After you’ve “met” a man on video or virtually, discuss the topic of cover with him.

Ask him how he’s approaching dating – or seeing his friends – under the current circumstances. It will quickly become apparent if he is not the type of guy to take covid 19 seriously.

Of course, whether or not you continue dating a man who doesn’t take the virus seriously is entirely up to you.

What’s also important to remember is that there’s not much difference between meeting you and anyone else. The risk to both of you of catching the virus is the same.

Remember That Many People Will Be Asymptomatic

Remember that many people are asymptomatic. Again, treat everyone as if they have the virus. The distinction is in whether they are willing to go out and get tested or not.

If and when you get to the point of meeting this man in person, continue to meet under social distancing guidelines.

Here’s an idea for where and how you can have a first in person date with a man: you can meet on a terrace or in a park where you can be spaced properly and not have to do contact tracing with every new acquaintance.

And here’s some further information on how to protect yourself and others from the virus.

Is it bad if I am 40 and have never been in a real long term relationship?

It is a rare occurrence, but sometimes a woman comes to her 4th decade and realizes that she hasn’t been in a serious, healthy long term relationship.

Not only that, sometimes she realizes that she has never really fallen in love and stayed in love.

What we will try to answer in this post is the following question: “is it bad to have never been in a long term relationship by the time you’re 40, and will that stop you from finding someone?”

Here is some food for thought for you to move forward if you are in this situation.

Looking at it from a certain perspective, it can be concerning to be 40 and have never been in a relationship.

Your emotional maturity in love may have been stunted

By that point in life, most people have already experienced emotional markers and connections that come from a place of actually being in love, and being in some kind of semi or real long term relationship.

If and when that emotional maturity has been stunted, you really have to relearn what you think you know about bonding with another human and move more consciously and don’t just go by your heart.

As someone who had a late start to dating, I can understand anyone who is in a position such as this.

I never dated in high school, I had a very strict upbringing. So I never have the opportunity to learn how to interact with guys like all my teenage peers. By the time I grew out of my teens, I had no idea what it meant to interact with a grown man (even though lots of them aren’t exactly “grown”)

I didn’t actually start dating until I was 22. At that time, I was innocent and naive in my ideals about love and relationships.

Men who gravitated towards me were men who were older and kind of took advantage of my naivety. So I had to learn hard and fast about the reality of the dating world. It’s not always nice.

3 Thing I recommend you do to get starting in dating and find genuine connection

Here are three things I recommend that you do in order to set yourself up with the right foundation to start dating and finding genuine connection with a man.

Step 1: Face your own inner issues around connection and bonding that allows you to get your head out of the clouds and be more grounded in your approach to men.

If you feel stuck in the perpetually single zone, it can we a wise idea to seek some therapy. There’s nothing wrong with that.

There may be some deep seated issues and reasons why you are where you are at that you may not have ever explored (but should have). The kind of issues and things that have gotten you where you are now.

And until you start dealing with and healing from those, the ability to really connect with a man will continue to be hampered.

Step 2: Drop any prince charming ideals of what you THINK your perfect guy should be.

Realize that your relative inexperience may have lead you to create unrealistic fantasies about how a man should be (these are usually fantasies that men could never fulfill, because every human is imperfect).

Step 3: Turn inward and learn to deeply know yourself as a woman.

Be comfortable with yourself, your capacity to love, know that you deserve to BE loved, and really connect with your sensuality and sexuality as a woman.

Not only that, know that these things about you are sacred. When you know how sacred they are, you may realize that you should only engage with men who fully respect that.

Hold off on casual sex…

If you have had any sexual relationships by this point outside of having a serious relationship, you should probably hold off on any casual sex until you truly feel you connect with a man emotionally. It makes a difference when you learn to have sexual encounters from a place of love vs just lust.

If you are in this situation yourself, if you are 40 or even in your mid to late 30s and have never been in a secure long term relationship, then perhaps these points are something to think about.

Being older is not the real problem. The problem lies in your ability to connect. If you can’t connect properly, or if you connect from a dysfunctional place, then it’s going to be hard to find yourself falling in love. Of course, it may also be hard to make a man fall in love with you, too.

If you are interested, here’s an article on the signs a man is falling in love. It may help you in the future to distinguish between a man who is just interested, rather than a man who is truly emotionally bonding with you.