Jon “Zoolander” Lee
Brought up in Silicon Valley, Jon would travel to dozens of countries before he was legally allowed to drink. Brought up in a high energy household, he would evidently be the popular kid at school, and the troublemaker in class. Jon is fearless in pushing the boundaries of possibility, while being considerate of those around him. He loves traveling, eating delicious food, and being part of the start-up scene.
Weapon of Choice: Fortune cookies
Superpower: Can turn vampires into vegetarians
Catch Phrase: “You ready for round two?”
Howard “Tanktop” Lo
Born and raised in San Francisco, Howard would become intimately familiar with the Bay Area. At a young age, he was introduced to computers. The casual gaming machine quickly turned into a gateway for knowledge and opportunity. He enjoys fiddling with electronics, software, and machines by finding new applications for them. Howard dreams of making an impact in this world, and making everyone laugh while doing it.
Weapon of Choice: Instant noodle packets
Superpower: Can get to the North Pole by heading west
Catch Phrase: “Lets go!”
Katie “Hitmon” Chan
Raised in the Bay Area, Katie’s heart was stolen by San Diego. She loves riding the unicycle so much, she seriously considered joining the circus at the age of 16. Instead, Katie settled for being a yoga master. When she isn’t stretching on her unicycle, she can be found neck deep in carne asada fries, her secret addiction. Katie’s dream is to own a pet llama named Poke. We’re not sure why. Namaste.
Weapon of Choice: Yoga mats
Superpower: Can kill two stones with one bird
Weakness: Shiny things
Catch Phrase: “Finally, you’ve caught up”
Tiffany “Terminator” Sun
Growing up with three other sisters, Tiffany was the “boy” of the family. At the relief of her parents, she blossomed into a “lady” during college. She is passionate about cooking, frequently stocking the company fridge and making us fat. Tiffany also enjoys working out and playing video games on her days off like World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy. When she isn’t wired in, she’s always looking for ways to improve herself.
Weapon of Choice: Granola bars
Superpower: Can start a fire with dental floss and water
Weakness: When there isn’t enough sauce
Catch Phrase: “Nooooo!”
Lucija “M.O.M.” Palac
A wild girl out of Croatia, Lucija is the glue that holds our team together. If any of us get out of line, she will spam us until we give in. When she’s not busy running a tight ship, she can be found climbing on rocks, big ones, like mountain sized. Whenever we can’t reach something on the top shelf at the office, we ask Lucija. She loves Asian food and has traveled all over Asia to get the best.
Weapon of Choice: Sticks of chalk
Superpower: Can count to infinity
Weakness: Vietnamese coffee
Catch Phrase: “I’m spamming you, is this done yet?”
Kevin “Lightning” Patrick
Kevin is a multitasking wizard. Being the oldest of four, he has been managing misbehaving children for the majority of his life. He is very familiar with sarcasm, but insists that keeping us in check isn’t much different than his sibling duties. When Kevin needs a break from all of us, he finds peace in star gazing through his telescope on the rooftop. If the sun is out and the stars aren’t visible, he’s usually practicing his golf swing. Kevin preaches a fully sustainable green living standard.
Weapon of Choice: Windshield wipers
Superpower: Can insert a USB correctly on the first try
Catch Phrase: “You’re funny, have you tried the circus?”
Andrea “Flipside” Cunningham
Daughter of an engineer and an artist, Andrea grew up with a fascination of architecture and optimizing efficiency. While pursuing a degree in architecture, she found a greater love for computer science. When Andrea isn’t optimizing databases, she can be found hiking the mountains in Wales, or collecting exotic plants. Andrea’s passion for flawless work can only be matched by her love for her family.
Weapon of Choice: Cups half-full of coffee
Superpower: Never accidentally flushed automatic toilets
Catch Phrase: “Go away, I’m busy”
James “007” Weber
Hailing from Switzerland, James Weber grew up on James Bond films (we think thats where he got his name, 99% sure). Thanks to those films, James has a silver tongue and is especially smooth with the ladies. When he isn’t chatting someone up, he’ll find time to actually write some copy for Zlass. He’s a natural poet and gentleman. His hobbies include driving manly cars and wearing a suit for no reason. But seriously, write more copy James.
Weapon of Choice: Silenced banana
Superpower: Can cut through a hot knife with butter
Weakness: Action movies
Catch Phrase: “My names Weber, James Weber.”
Jeff “Mickey” Callaghan
Jeff was raised in Brooklyn New York and has always enjoyed telling stories. He’s gotten so good at it, that we can’t tell if they are real or not. He built his first computer at the age of 5, and broke his first computer at the age of 5. Fast forward 25 years, he still manages to break them - it’s amazing he managed (read: allowed) to be a developer. He can make anything happen, and coupled with insurance, he’s affordable.
Weapon of Choice: Swiss cheese
Superpower: Can win blackjack with 1 card
Weakness: Things that begin with the letter “G”
Catch Phrase: “Would you like cheese with that?”
Victoria “Punch-you-in-the-face” Lebedinsky
Victoria has the uncanny ability to know every piece of news before it becomes news. We can never share anything with her because we’ll just get “saw it an hour ago.” Can you guess what she does? Social media. She’s always on her cell phone, tweeting, checking Facebook, posting on Reddit... We think she’s grown eyes on the top of her head because she manages to walk very fast, avoiding obstacles, while on her phone.
Weapon of Choice: Fists
Superpower: Can successfully cancel a printing job
Catch Phrase: “Want to try a knuckle sandwich?”
Annie “Pillows” Davis
Annie is your typical quiet, nice, petite, and polite girl. She lets her work speak for her, and can create some beautifully made apps. When she isn’t on her mac, she can be found throwing clay and making gigantic vases, some bigger than her! Our office is filled with custom cups, plates, and other pieces of ceramic art. Annie, if you’re reading this, please no more cups!
Weapon of Choice: Brown sugar
Superpower: Can hear sign language
Weakness: The color blue
Catch Phrase: “How sweet...”
Jamal “Magnetum” Marley
Jamal was born in Jamaica and came to the states for schooling. Something about Berkley must’ve clicked for him because he hasn’t gone back to Jamaica. Jamal is our resident book worm - he loves to read books on marketing, and articles about SEO. On his days off, he can be found surfing at the break of dawn in ice cold waters. We’re not sure how he prevents hypothermia.
Weapon of Choice: Expired milk
Superpower: Can slam a revolving door
Weakness: 90 degree angles
Catch Phrase: “Dah! I knew you’d say that”
Kayla “Wrangler” Jones
Kayla’s passion is Australia. She loves the outback, the wildlife, and the culture. She tells us that Australia isn’t that dangerous to live in - we’re not convinced. When she isn’t trying to sell us on the idea of relocating our lives to Australia, she volunteers at the local SPCA caring for kittens - she has more videos of cats on her phone than YouTube. Kayla is a diehard vegetarian, and a prime example of how healthy and fit a human being can be.
Weapon of Choice: 2x4
Superpower: Can make a Happy Meal sad
Weakness: Stuffed animals
Catch Phrase: “That’s what she said”