A lot of people ask: “what is attunement?”
The official definition of attunement is: “to bring into harmony. To make aware or responsive.”
A lot of people are talking about attunement in dating and how it’s helpful to use it with men to find the right man.
The real reason why attunement is valuable is that it allows you to connect and be in harmony with your own feelings as well as then being in attunement (as much as possible) with the man.
When you’re attuned, you get him. You understand where he’s coming from.
But before you attune to anyone else, you have to first be able to attune to yourself. If you don’t do that, then you can’t grow in awareness enough to attune to someone outside of you!
The rule is that if you want to connect with others, you have to first not abandon yourself. Attune to YOU first.
Here is a therapist’s view on the art of attunement and how it can help people transform.
What attunement for a woman looks like
Attunement is learning how your body and emotions respond to things.
Attunement is like when someone asks another how they knew they had found “The One” and they say “I just knew”. It’s learning to trust that inner knowing.
Attunement, first and foremost, has more to do with learning about yourself than it is about the guys. So say for example some guy flakes on your pre-planned date, and for some reason this “rubs” you the wrong way.
Attunement would have you know why it rubbed you the wrong way, and whether or not you’d care to pursue someone who makes you feel this way.
Knowing when someone rubs you the wrong way
There was a man I once knew and dated. The best way to sum him is a whole lot of thoughts saying: “he’s nice… but…”.
BUT. He hated my line of work and ridiculed my colleagues (he was a far leftist who was anti-law enforcement and I work in security).
Yet he’s always harping on people who eat meat (vegan). I was always feeling “but this and but that”.
And so I stopped and asked myself, did I want to be with someone who made me feel so…tuck or wrong?
The answer was no. So I cut him off, and I never looked back. And less than 2 months later, I found the love of my life.
Now obviously it’s not a formula, and it’s not a “use these three banter tricks and you’ll for sure find the man in a year” but they are tools for the woman who wants to learn to attune herself so that she can find ‘the one’.
Attune to yourself first, and attuning to another’s energy will become much easier.
Expect attunement to be messy at first
Another thing you should know about attunement…
It’s going to look messy and all over the place. You’re going to feel bad, because you will make mistakes along the way. You will find yourself in positions you haven’t been in before.
As you practice more, you will know when to do and say what.
When it comes to dating online and attuning yourself through text messages with men, as you practice bantering with them, you’ll learn.
You’ll makes mistakes, but you’ll learn when to relax a little and chat, and when to be more playful.
You’ll get to feel what the right thing to do is in the moment because of all this experience you built up through your everyday practice!
So. Keep going. Keep practicing attuning to your own feelings, rather than ignoring them.
Become more aware of how your body is responding to the things you do to it (or for it). Investigate how your body responds to men. And then, when you feel you’re ready, it’s then time to attune to where men are.
The rule is, the more attuned you are, the better you are able to reject toxic men, and invite in a healthy relationship with the right man. In other words, you’ll get closer to finding “the one”.